Mine

Where is God in the picture of my life? Is He in the center, along the periphery, or somewhere beyond the confines of the frame? God refuses to play second fiddle. He is the main melody. His plan is the reality my perception must align with. He won’t adjust His plan to account for what I want. He knows which direction is for the best. I can choose to follow Him, or I can end up where He wants me in spite of my resistance and hesitation. Keeping God in the center, playing in accordance with His tune, following His way is always the better choice. So why do I keep trying to plow my own row? What’s the point of resisting the mightiest power of the universe? It just leaves me frustrated, confused, and continually disappointed, and that’s not God’s way, it’s mine.

No Shame

I’m tired of keeping it a secret. There’s hidden sin in my life, crouching in the dark recesses of my past, begging to not be exposed. But I refuse to allow it to shame me any longer. I have herpes. I’m not proud to be a carrier of the herpes virus. I’m not trying to justify the promiscuous lifestyle I led as a teenager that resulted in my contracting the virus. But, as a writer, a Christian, and a self-appointed proclaimer of truth, I cannot allow any part of my life to be withheld from public scrutiny.

Energize

I’m a lazy, selfish and stubborn individual. Admitting my weaknesses is the first step in overcoming them. I have to actively decide to resist my natural tendencies to sit, eat junk food, and think about what I wish I had in my life, or those are the only things I will ever accomplish.
The second step is to know my strengths. I enjoy doing things to help other people. I love to dance, ride my bike, and go for a run. Reading and writing inspire me and make me feel as though I have accomplished something worthwhile with my time. Listening to worship music refreshes my mind and my spirit.
The third step is to know my limitations. If I focus too much on assisting others, then I start to feel bad that there isn’t more I can do to help. I begin to feel lonely and isolated when I’m not able to be with someone else. And I begin to resent other people for not allowing me to do more for them or for not appreciating the service I wish to offer.
Exercise is awesome, but if I push myself too hard or too far, it backfires. I injure myself or make myself physically sick with overexertion. It also takes a mental toll; I decide to take it easy for a while so my body can rest and heal, then it’s that much more difficult to get myself going again. I need to be able to recognize the tipping point between pushing my body to develop greater strength and endurance and burning out my source of enthusiasm.

The Gap

Anytime there is a discontinuity between where you are physically, what you’re doing mentally, and what you believe spiritually, a gap opens within the thread of your existence. People often think they’re saving time or getting ahead by multitasking, but they are actually robbing themselves of the experience of the current moment. When your body is in one place and your mind is somewhere else, you’re unable to experience either place to its fullest capacity. When your mind is thinking about something that your spirit believes is harmful for you to dwell on, then you’re going against your own conscience, choosing your own destruction, and causing yourself a tremendous amount of stress.

Christianity

If you look at the core of Christianity, who would WANT to refute it? Love everyone, yourself included. Treat all people with honor, dignity, and respect. Develop patience, humility, and self-control. Give generously, serve willingly, and live to be a blessing to others so that you can enjoy your life to the full. Unfortunately, throughout history, Christians have sucked at doing these things. But they are the foundation of the Christian faith, what we strive to attain. If Christians would start loving other people the way they’re supposed to instead of walking around judging and condemning everyone, I think there would be a lot fewer people knocking Christianity.

Happy

I’ve struggled with severe depression since I was eight years old, so maybe I’m not the best person to talk about how to be happy. But people who are naturally happy don’t know what it takes to be happy because they just already are. It’s expected, assumed, taken for granted. I’ve had to work to be happy. I’ve had to work hard at it. Happiness does not come naturally to me at all.
The same holds true for healthiness. I’ve been sickly all my life. I have terrible environmental allergies that make me feel like I’m sick even when I’m not. My head is always stuffy, my sinuses clogged, my ears itch like crazy, and I’m continually fatigued.
I also have gas. Flatulence may be a funny topic for most, but for me it equals pain. I get tremendous cramping in my chest, abdomen and shoulders. Plus, it can be extremely embarrassing when you let out a massive toot, especially in the presence of mixed company.
A laundry list of hypochondriac tendencies and actual abnormalities plague me. My spine is continually out of alignment. My back, neck, and shoulders crack incessantly, as do the rest of my joints, except the elbows. For some reason, I’ve never had trouble with needing to pop my elbows.
But everyday I’m grateful that my discomforts aren’t more severe. I could have a life-threatening food allergy or rheumatoid arthritis. I’m totally thankful that I’m not allergic to peanuts especially. I love peanuts and peanut butter and other foods that are manufactured with the same equipment as peanuts. I would probably not know what I was missing if I were to have the allergy from early childhood. But I’ve met people with peanut allergies before, and I don’t envy them. The extreme measures they go through to ensure they don’t ingest peanuts I wouldn’t want to have to deal with.
We each have our own cross to bear.

Purpose

Until I somehow improve my regularity of writing and implement my functional goal of writing into my daily routine, most of my posts will more than likely be along the themes of purpose and priorities. Again, I find myself continually distracted by work and family. However, my calling is to take precedence over all other aspects of my life. If I keep my primary purpose as my first focus, then everything else will fit within the parameters of the time I have left for them. When I obsess about everything I need to do, it stresses me out and I get less done in more time than I could get done in less time if I would simply calm down, relax, and keep my priorities in proper perspective.