True Power

True power and success have only one source, one ultimate Source. There are many false senses of power: physical strength, emotional manipulation, mental fortitude, just to name a few. However, these forms of control can only be sustained through guilt, fear, and personal determination. When the flesh gets weak, or is perceived as weak, pseudo-power vanishes as a puff of smoke into the air.
How does true power differ from pseudo-power? True power persists in the presence of weakness. In fact, true power is most magnificently perceived in the absence of strength, manipulation, and fortitude. True power exposes the innermost convictions of the heart, mind, and spirit. True power supplies a strength that exceedingly surpasses brute force. True power provides a conviction that is more convincing than superficial influences. True power fortifies the mind against unseen vexations. There are multiple ways to obtain pseudo-power, but true power can only be acquired through maintaining a clear connection to the Source of all power.

Why I’m a Christian

I did not become a Christian because some tragedy or extreme trial placed me in a moment of weakness where I searched desperately for some type of purpose or higher power to comfort me in my time of need. I did not become a Christian because I was blindly following the path of my parents, the churches we attended, or the way I was raised to believe about faith. I do not follow a system of folk theology that only deals with how I feel and what I need to believe is true. I question my faith. I doubt the answers that other men tout off at me. I examine explanations and pursue the discovery of rightness for myself. What I have found is a deep, unshakable conviction that there is an intelligent energy of ultimate perfection in all that is good, beautiful, and true, of which I am a part. I believe this energy created everything in existence, that all matter is simply energy in slow motion, that all of our senses and perceptions stem from the unique pattern of energy which forms each individual soul. I believe this energy is love and has therefore given us the ability to give and receive love. As individual patterns of energy we are finite subsets of the infinite being. This infinite being I call God. I believe the Bible is a collection of inspired writings, composing one over-arching message, which serves to connect the finite with the infinite. We each have the ability to choose to embrace the power, goodness, and inspiration of the infinite or to rely completely on our finite memories, habits, and desires to guide us through life. I choose to seek the infinite perspective because I’d rather live in surrendered cooperation than in stubborn obstinace, though I often tend to find myself reverting to the latter in spite of my best intentions.

If I Say

If I say, “I’m going to obey God and do everything He tells me to because I believe that if I continually behave, then God will someday give me everything I want and will occasionally reward me for good behavior along the way,” then I’ll be seriously disappointed. This type of ideology is bad theology. God doesn’t promise health, wealth, prosperity, or well-being. What He does promise is to always be with me no matter how difficult life gets. He promises to love me and give me eternal life. His love is unconditional. His life, however, is contingent on my willingness to accept it and believe. I’m so full of doubt and unbelief sometimes, though, it’s no wonder God can’t get anything good to me. I undercut every opportunity. I expect a mess from every situation, so that’s exactly what I get.

Painting Naked

Call me altruistic, but I believe in leading a transparent life of honor and integrity. I may not have the courage it takes to always be honest with others or myself. I often circum to depression; I fall prey to fatalism. I lose hope. But when I remember that all that is required of me is that I do my best, that I surrender the stubbornness of my will, that there is always a second chance to walk by faith and to believe, then I can humbly ask for forgiveness, grant forgiveness to others, and begin anew.

Mine

Where is God in the picture of my life? Is He in the center, along the periphery, or somewhere beyond the confines of the frame? God refuses to play second fiddle. He is the main melody. His plan is the reality my perception must align with. He won’t adjust His plan to account for what I want. He knows which direction is for the best. I can choose to follow Him, or I can end up where He wants me in spite of my resistance and hesitation. Keeping God in the center, playing in accordance with His tune, following His way is always the better choice. So why do I keep trying to plow my own row? What’s the point of resisting the mightiest power of the universe? It just leaves me frustrated, confused, and continually disappointed, and that’s not God’s way, it’s mine.

No Shame

I’m tired of keeping it a secret. There’s hidden sin in my life, crouching in the dark recesses of my past, begging to not be exposed. But I refuse to allow it to shame me any longer. I have herpes. I’m not proud to be a carrier of the herpes virus. I’m not trying to justify the promiscuous lifestyle I led as a teenager that resulted in my contracting the virus. But, as a writer, a Christian, and a self-appointed proclaimer of truth, I cannot allow any part of my life to be withheld from public scrutiny.

Energize

I’m a lazy, selfish and stubborn individual. Admitting my weaknesses is the first step in overcoming them. I have to actively decide to resist my natural tendencies to sit, eat junk food, and think about what I wish I had in my life, or those are the only things I will ever accomplish.
The second step is to know my strengths. I enjoy doing things to help other people. I love to dance, ride my bike, and go for a run. Reading and writing inspire me and make me feel as though I have accomplished something worthwhile with my time. Listening to worship music refreshes my mind and my spirit.
The third step is to know my limitations. If I focus too much on assisting others, then I start to feel bad that there isn’t more I can do to help. I begin to feel lonely and isolated when I’m not able to be with someone else. And I begin to resent other people for not allowing me to do more for them or for not appreciating the service I wish to offer.
Exercise is awesome, but if I push myself too hard or too far, it backfires. I injure myself or make myself physically sick with overexertion. It also takes a mental toll; I decide to take it easy for a while so my body can rest and heal, then it’s that much more difficult to get myself going again. I need to be able to recognize the tipping point between pushing my body to develop greater strength and endurance and burning out my source of enthusiasm.